Sanity

This post is going to be a lot of ramblings, forgive me. Right now I feel like that Peerless kitchen facet. It is all nice and shinny on the outside, polished until you can see your reflection in it. It is bright and flawless to the naked eye, but if you look just hard enough and long enough you will see something…(drip) . There is a flaw. You just do not notice the flaws if you just look at the facet. The bright finish on the outside is just a decorative cover to hide the internal workings. With me it seems to be with each drop that escapes the facet, a little of my sanity escapes also. Drip by drip, not much each drip but over time it takes a toll.

That bad thing about all of this is I don’t know why I am losing my sanity. It is not just one thing that I can put my finger on and fix. My life has been going pretty well as of late. It is summer, I am enjoying riding my bike, I have a wonderful new friend that I care very much for in Michelle, I am getting a bonus at work, etc. So much is going so well, why now am I starting to feel this way? One thing I am know I am starting to feel anxious or even worthless about is my status in life. I am 33, I should be buying my house not leasing. I have slowing feeling pretty worthless, like a body taking up space with now real contribution to society. Should society dictate my sense of worth by the amount of material things I can accumulate? What are my priorities? I have a list of goals on my bedroom and office wall but I feel like I am just walking through life one day at a time.