Winter Wonderland

Today is my first day back to my humdrum and dreary job this week. Thankfully I was off yesterday for Presidents Day. I was off for 3 superb days in a row from both jobs. That is such a rare feat that in it self made the weekend great, through in some white stuff and it made the weekend even better. I had my son this weekend and we did absolutely nothing. We ate, played Playstation and watched movies and then ate some more. It did not do much for my goal of weight loss but it sure was entertaining. I took Branson back to his mom’s on Sunday evening. Monday Jess went to work and I had the day and the house to myself. I slept late, went to Barnes and took a nap. How come everyday could not be that tranquil?

Of course the fantasy had to end and I had to return to work. I just hope the movie Office Space (which I watched again last night) does not lead me to do anything brainless today. We have our own versions of Mr. Lumberg and TPS reports.

I built most of the website this weekend. Now I just need write some articles and I will be going online. I am hoping for April 15th. That will give me plenty of time to get a few written and take pictures. I plan for the website to be picture heavy.

Another Day

Another demonic day has come and gone much to my happiness. I did survive the commercial holiday of Cupid but there were times there that I was not sure that was going to happen. It is over now and it is time to focus my energies on more positive endeavors, my web site and weight loss.

First the web site…I am trying to finish the site design right now. The address is www.arkansasaventuresports.com. It is not up yet but hopefully it will be by April. It is a web site that is going to focus on out door trips and adventures in the state of Arkansas. I am an avid outdoors man and I wanted a web site to reflect my interests and give people a site to go to for information. The site will have schedules for the events for biking races, charity rides, adventure races, etc. I will also have feature write ups, with pictures, of trips I have made. There will be articles on gear and guest writers on their individual skills, for example one writer has completed two iron man triathlons, Pikes Peak trail run and the Arkansas 100 trail run. She will give advice on those topics and write about her experiences in those events as well. Since I do have a 10 year old boy there will be an area for kid/family friendly adventures. There will be a list out outfitters that will give links to their websites also. My plan is to have trips from the simple (Guided Tours through Blanchard Caverns) to the more difficult (biking the Syllamo Trail). Initially it will only have a few feature trips on it but as time goes by I will continuously add more to it.

The weight loss thing is going slow. I am biking most days to work and running a little at night. I have also started to eat better so I am expecting to see some kind of result soon. I always lose weight in the summer just from being more active but this year I want to be in the best shape of my life. Until then, I will keep at it.

Valentine's Day

Valentine’s Day, a day that is made up, by some evil demonic person, so you can spoil your significant other or if you are single…a day that could make you feel neglected and dejected. What is the real purpose of this “holiday”? Is it to entice someone to be romantic? I am sorry but a designated day to make some one romantic is not going to work, in fact the notion of a holiday for this is in itself is unromantic. If a person is romantic he/she will be romantic most all of the time. If a person is not romantic, having a day set in stone that he/she sends someone flowers and a card is not romance. Romance is more then something you do, it is a feeling. It is something deep down inside a person that makes them want to pamper someone else. It is the intense pleasure that you feel when you make someone happy. It is the continuing efforts to make someone that happy all the time. It is about the sacrifices that one makes to see the other person smile. Romance is in the little things, the rubbing of feet, the back rubs, the baths and even doing the dishes or any other duty that the other person normally does. Romance is not in the presents, it is the giving. The giving could be anything but the unselfish giving of one’s self is the greatest gift one could give another.

Happy Valentines Day.

Where's my Mojo?

To be or not to be…romantic that is. That is the question. It is not that easy. It is not like someone chooses not to be romantic or to be romantic. For that matter no one coconsciously chooses any of their character traits. Over the past 10 years I have changed immensely. I went from grieving for a broken marriage and feeling unworthy of a relationship, to playing the field to falling in love again. During this time my self esteem has always been really shaky. I had a break down 5 years ago and lost my will to live. Since that time I have been slowly making improvements. One thing that I always was during that time was romantic and a lover. I wanted to spend all my time with women. I could not get enough. I got myself into a lot of trouble during this time by seeing multiple women and sometimes the women were good friends. I just wanted to be next to a beautiful woman. There is nothing more beautiful then an attractive naked woman. It is God’s art, God’s masterpiece. Everything; the soft skin, the curves, smells, and taste of a woman was intoxicating. I could not get enough or want to do anything else. I would cook for women, have picnics, take a bottle of wine and blanket and take a woman out to look at the stars. I always kept a supply of candles and incense. I loved kissing and cuddling. What has happened to all of that?

Like I said I have made great strides in my self worth. I am at a place that I have never reached before. I am actually happy. Yes I weigh too much but I am happy. At least I think I am. I am not depressed like I used to be. I do not like drama like I used to. I enjoy simple things now that I did not use to. But with the last couple of girls I dated I have not been romantic at all and really not real touchy feely at all. I wish I could have that back. I liked being romantic. How can you get that back? Not just sex but true romance.

I know this does not make a lot sense it is just me really venting and thinking out loud.

new attitudes

The weekend is over and now it is back to work. Monday mornings are always so freaking tough. I took some time this past week to reorient myself and get my positive attitude back. I have been so jaded for the last couple of months with worrying about my future and hating my job. I have changed some things up at work that should really make things run more smoothly. I am focusing on more positive things in my life instead of dwelling on the bad or what ifs. I am doing 100% better today then last week and once again I am happy.

I had a wonderful weekend with my little boy. He was sick and we stayed most of the time but it was still good. We did manage to make it outside for a few minutes yesterday so I could take some pics of him. I will add some of the pics here sometime soon.

Thanks for the wonderful advice I received and I hope everyone is doing equally as well.