Rocket Science

Ok this is too funny. Just shows what I have to deal with on a daily basis. We here at my department have a position open for a GIS (Geographical Information Systems) specialist. This position has been open for at least 6 months now. Since this is a state job our pay is not real good and a person with this experience can make 30% more in the private sector. Our last two GIS specialists quit and one went to work for the city of Little Rock for a lot more money and the other went to work at a local bike shop. Our department pretty much runs an ad for this position in the paper continuously. Well we finally have had someone apply for it. They sat up an interview with this person for Wednesday. Well now that interview has been cancelled because they want at least two people to interview for it. That makes since if we have numerous people applying for this position. We don’t. It has been 6 months and we just have gotten one person to apply. I don’t think we will be getting another one anytime soon. Do they really think that this first interviewee will just sit and wait until we find someone else to apply? Needless to say that position will continue to sit vacant indefinitely. Come one boys this is not rocket science!

Unsatisfied

I am unsatisfied with my life right now. I am not sure as to the reason because life is going pretty good. I am not depressed or anything just not real happy either. It feels like I am in some kind of rut that I can not climb out of. I have several things to be happy about but the happiness is so short lasting. I think some of the issues that brings me down is my weight and my main job. I have gained so much weight it is not funny. 3 years ago I weighted 130lbs and had a size 28” waist. Now I weight 185 and have a size 32” waist. I know I am not obese and still in better shape then the average but I am not where I should be or want to be. I am overweight for me. Second, my day job is taking its toll. The dysfunctional, disorganized office drives me insane every day. I dread coming to work now. Half of the people are looking for new jobs and two people just found new jobs and will be leaving. No one that works in this office likes it here. Of the half that I do not know that is looking for new jobs, 5 of them are only in the office 1 day a week. They are out in the field the other 4 days.

With all of that being said, I went to SG this morning to grab a mocha and some breakfast on the way to work. While waiting on my food I was looking at the area that people post fliers and business cards. One of the business cards was for a place called ReVisions – Life Design Coach. Very interesting! I did get a card, now I need to call this Jan Dean, PhD. Maybe he/she can be some help in getting my life back the way I want it!

I did have a nice weekend though. It was a lazy one for me but nice. I worked Friday night and Sunday night at SG and Saturday and Sunday morning Jessica just napped, rode bikes, went out to eat and to the movies.

The good the bad and the ugly

This past weekend was wonderful and not so. From Saturday at noon to Sunday night it was very good. I had Branson and we biked, went to dinner including Gaucho’s and went to the wonderful car show down at the River Market on Saturday. We even made it out to Pinnacle Mountain for the Rendezvous Festival. Branson had his very first school dance on Friday night and he seemed to have a great time.

My Friday night however did not go as well as his. It started out simple enough. I left work at 4 and stopped by my little ole dive bar, Pizza D, for some liquid nutrition. Jessica came by after shot got off of work also. Mrs. Clinton was on the Ellen Show and so several of us at the bar were just having a laid back discussion about politics and sports. These are not two of Jessica’s favorite topics so she got bored after a few minutes and left. Anyway to make a long story short we ended up arguing quite a bit that night. I eventually went to SG with a couple of my friends to get some dinner. Jessica shows up and is slightly drunk and ends up getting real drunk while at SG. She really started embarrassing me and she crossed a lot of boundaries. A friend of hers had to take her home because it was getting pretty bad. The next day she felt really bad about what had happened and does not remember a lot of it. She has apologized a gazillion times for her actions. She got some rest on Saturday morning and she joined Branson and me for the rest of the weekend which as I said was really awesome. I just wish all of Jessica’s and mine time together was as good as that. Jessica and just argue so much.

Last night I worked at SG and it was a good night. Last week was bad because of the fair. We were so slow. Last night we were not busy but we were busy enough not to get bored and I had no really bad customers either. I do not have to work my 2nd job again until Friday. I had hoped I would be able to do a lot of biking this week, but unfortunately I will not. I have to work on a friend of mine’s car tonight, tomorrow night my neighbor has invited Jessica and I to dinner at their house and Thursday I do get go climbing with a friend of mine at the LR Climbing Center. That should be fun and a good work out also. That is something I desperately need is a good work out. Damn I am getting fat!

Manager Free!

I just had the best news…the manager of my department is going to be off for the next week! I was already glowing with thinking that he would be gone just today but to find out he will not be back until next Friday! This is such great news. It means that I can get caught up on my work and do not have to deal with so many requests! I am just beaming with happiness. Thank you higher powers that be!

As you have noticed I have not been blogging much lately. This is because of several reasons. One my life has just been very mundane lately, pretty much the same routine day in and day out. This has been taking its toll on me mentally as well as not giving much to write about. Also my girlfriend is pretty sensitive about this whole blogging thing and I have to be careful as to what I write or don’t write because she gets upset about it.

I can understand part of her concerns though. When I met Jessica I was just coming down from a 6 month high. Life was awesome and full filling. I was more active and had more time then I do now. Over the course of our dating I have been slowly drifting down from that high. It is no fault of hers though but sometimes she does not believe that. My job has gotten very bad and I sometimes get depressed just by walking in the office door. I used to look forward to getting to work because I enjoyed it, but now I just look forward to getting off and getting out of the office. Physically I am in bad shape. I am in the worse shape I have ever been in. Since I work two jobs I do not have time to work out like I used to. When I do have time I don’t have the energy to work out. So I have slowly gotten out of shape. This process is exponential also. The less you work out the worse you feel, the worse you feel the less desire you have to work out. I am trying to fight my way out of this downward spiral right now. I have eaten better and rested more this week then I have in a long time. With the next seven days without my manager around that will surely help me mentally. Hopefully I can climb out of this rut.

Moving should also help. I am moving from my cute stylish but older house in Hillcrest (the neighborhood that I love) and moving to a nice house in a nearby neighborhood. I will have more room and not have to deal with such a moody and selfish roommate. Don’t get me wrong I love my roommate Ashley to death but there is a reason she has never had roommates. Jessica will be living with me at the new house but living with a girlfriend is not the same as a roommate. Recap: new home that is in better shape and with more room and someone to cuddle to every night.

Changes

Changes are coming and they are not necessarily good. The chief architect, at work, is gone. Yesterday was his last day. He is a navy Seabee and got activated again for 6 months. There are two bad things about him leaving; one, he is the only person that has any influence over the manager of our department, two, his design projects fell into my lap to see they get done. Great, just freaking great, like I do not have enough of stuff to do already!

Another change is that I am moving. I am moving from my house to an apartment. The house is fairly expensive and utilities are real expensive in the house. With the cost of natural gas going up 70% there is no way I can afford it. I have not found an apartment yet to move to. I am suppose to be out November 1st of the house. I guess I need to get that taken care of and find an apartment.

I am getting so burned out right now and I need a vacation. Working two jobs and with my son in soccer and bmx racing I have little to no time for myself. I do not remember when the last time I had some solo time. I work 65-70 hours a week and usually have only 1 full day off a week and sometimes not even that. My outlook is getting a little more negative and I am just plain old tired. I need 3 days off so I can relax and do something I want to do like go back packing, canoeing, or go on a short tour by bike. I need to do something to feel alive and not make me feel that I live only to work and serve others.

I would also love a change. I have been thinking of moving. Not just to an apartment in town but to a new town, back home. No not to Pine Bluff where I grew up but back to my roots, Mississippi. I will never do that because my son is here and I will never be far from him, he means everything to me. I hate not seeing him everyday already. I will not move off and get further from him.

Maybe I feel like moving because I am so exhausted. I so need a break.

Branson ready for the Races 

busy weekend and looking to fall

Another weekend over and another weekend spent burning the roads up. It seems every time I have my son I get so little rest. We go and go and do and do. I need to start taking the following Monday off so I can rest.

This weekend was no different. Friday night he raced BMX bikes. Saturday he had two soccer games and then I had to be at work at 4:00pm. Sunday morning was spent shopping since he got some more birthday money and then more BMX racing.

This week I should be getting some personal time. I only work Wednesday night this week at my second job. That is a welcome relief. I am ready to have a long weekend though so I can do some backpacking. It will not be long the leaves will be turning and there is no better place then to see the fall colors then on a trail in the middle of the Ozarks.